Why is it so hard?!?? If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Lucas is in a huge testing phase (and let’s be honest, Jack is doing it too!) One where he is just pushing buttons to push buttons. And it’s hard. Tuesday and Thursday he goes to speech. People are understanding him better. He has conversations at school. He talks to people. And speech at school and at ASU has truly saved him! He has so much in his head and couldn’t get it out. We still have or moments, but it’s so much better. But how do you help him when he is THIS exhausted!! Starting next week he will start at the reading clinic. It will be amazing and so good for him! But on another level so hard!! That’s another hour he will be working so hard! Which means those evenings might be more hard times!! This is why we haven’t been able to try sports. Oh I would love for him to do it. But his plate is already full with therapy. I have my moment of “that’s not fair.” But I realize what a huge blessing it is to have these therapies to help him get to where he needs to be.
So we were stuck. I’ve read countless articles on how to help your children. Use rewards, don’t use rewards. Spank, don’t spank. All I learned is each child is different and there is no right way! It’s all about how the kids handles things and what works for you. My wonderful friend said to try the Bucket Filler book! That way it’s not rewarding for everything good thing, but seeing it in a tangible way. And when the bucket is full, we could do something together as a family. LOVE IT! Bringing the book home tomorrow. It’s all about how being kind and helping others fills your invisible bucket, but when your sad and having a hard time, you might spill some water out of your bucket. And people can either fill your bucket or cause it to lose water. I can see tomorrow going well, but the true test will be this time next week. It’s so hard!!!
But it’s hard. My bible study is about the Armor of God and preparing yourself. And the biggest thing is prayer. That’s our way to talk to God. And I realize I don’t do this enough. If prayer can bring miracles, it can also help in the little things. Pray! Pray! Pray! I’m thankful to learn all about the different armor and how God uses it to equip us!
Since I was raised Presbyterian, we didn’t talk a lot about the devil. But there is a spiritual warfare going on that we can’t see. In a weird way, this gives me peace. I’m not wrestling against Lucas, or Jack, or little things that bother me. It’s the enemy trying to take my joy and peace that God has already given us!! God already won!! But the lies and deceiving are there to make us forget or just get down! But take heart. For I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Andy and I talked a lot tonight and so thankful to have an amazing husband and father who is in the same page as you. Yes, we don’t always see eye to eye, but we are a good team. We talked about how Lucas reacts and does things that seem so compulsive and off. But then we talked about how he truly has damage to his brain. We have 2 MRIs to show this. How does it affect him behaviorally? We can’t make excuses for him. We can’t let him just do whatever. We have to hold him accountable. But sometimes it’s so hard!